Well, it has been almost 4 months since my miscarriage and I'm getting excited about trying to have a baby again. Here's an update on what's been going on in the past 4 months:
March 11 1999: I went in to see my OB for my yearly PAP today. My OB gave me some Provera (2 tabs for 5 days) to jump start my periods. It's been 9 1/2 weeks since the m/c and still no AF. Everything checked out fine and the pg test at the office was neg. I am happy because there's a 75-85% chance of me getting another ectopic if I get pg on my own. Been there, done that. My doc said it could take between 2 days to 2 weeks AFTER I finish the Provera for my period (AF) to show.
March 12 1999: The Provera has made me quite crampy. I've had a little pain in my left ovary today.
March 13 1999: Provera.
March 14 1999: Provera.
March 15 1999: Provera. Sent a letter to my Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). I asked about 20 questions w.r.t. my miscarriage and asked about testing that we might do before we try a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET).
March 26 1999: Still no AF!! I feel more like it's gonna happen any time now, but nothing. Last nite I was really bitchy to Scott and then I got upset thinking about how many times I've been pg and how many babies I've lost. It seems like an awful lot to go through. I thought I got it out of my system last nite, but then today when I was at Dillards, I was writing the check and I heard "Tears in Heaven" playing on the intercom in the store. My eyes watered and I was ready to leave. It's been a while since I actually HEARD the words. I contained myself, but on my way home from the grocery, I heard "Butterfly Kisses" and that actually got the tears rolling. I guess you could say I was finally grieving my loss.
March 27 1999: A few weeks ago I volunteered to organize my sister's baby shower (she also asked me to videotape the birth of her baby and I am so honored) and today was the magic day. (She is due April 23rd) Everything went over great. I brought a couple of quiches, and my SIL organized the games. It was fun and nice to be around my sister and anticipate meeting the little baby she is carrying. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece currently, but I'm ready to be an Aunt to another bundle of joy. After the baby shower, I had to go photograph a friend's bridal pictures. When I got home later, I got AF. FINALLY!!!
March 29 1999: I was putting the baby-making thing on the back burner, but my RE called me today to let me know that he got the letter I sent a couple of weeks ago and wanted to answer the questions. I wasn't around to take his call, so I just called back later to make an appt. I wanted to go in to have my questions answered and be there just in case he wants to draw blood for a test or 2. I scheduled an appt for April 16.
April 9 1999: Tonite Scott and I did the photography for a friend's wedding. We were exhausted by the time we got home. We got word from my folks that my sister lost her mucous plug. That means she could go into labor in 24 hours or 2 weeks. Hmmmmm. Guess it's getting REALLY close to "go" time!!!
April 13 1999: Went to my sisters to do some pre-birth taping of the nursery, etc. I was kidding around with her about doing a trial run with her husband in position and a teddy bear playing the part of the baby. I put in a request to my sister to try to go into labor on the 16th because I would already be at the hospital.. .. we'll see!!
April 16 1999: Went to my RE's and got answers for all of my questions. I was relieved at his thoroughness and also that he wanted to run some tests now instead of waiting for miscarriage #3. I was very grateful for that. He ran blood tests to check the following: Anticardiolipin Antibodies (ACA), Thyroid Auto Antibodies, Antinuclear Antibodies (ANA), Lupus Anti-coag antibodies, APTT, PTT, Thyroid Panel, TSH. After my appt, I met 2 ladies that go to my clinic at Macaroni Grill to discuss IVF. It was nice to talk in person with others going through infertility. We agreed to meet periodically and form an OKC Infertility group. Update: my sister didn't go into labor while I was in the city.. . ...that would've been too convenient. ;.)
April 19 1999: Scott and I worked in the yard all day (we have 5 acres of woods) and I finally got to sleep around 1am. At 2:55am, I got the call from my dad letting me know that my sister's water broke. Thankfully I had showered before I went to bed and I hurriedly put on my sweats and ran for the car.
I arrived at the hospital before everyone. Carm was at a 3 when she got there. The nurse started Carm on an IV with pitocen (sp?) and she very quickly went to a 6. At that point she decided she needed an epidural so the nurse paged the epidural lady. Shortly after, Carm was at an 8 and the epidural lady still wasn't there. Finally, Carm said to "forget it" when she was at a 9. At around 6am is when the hard labor started and she really wanted to push. The doc wasn't there yet, so the nurse helped her to do her breathing. Finally, when Carm seemed like she couldn't handle NOT pushing any longer, the doc showed up (7:04am). Carm said "I gotta push, I'm gonna push" and the doc told her to breathe through this one (while he was getting into scrubs) and that she could push as much as she wanted with the next contraction. (I gasped in sympathy and awe when Carm was wanting to push and I cried the ENTIRE time I was filming.) The doc instructed the nurse to hold the baby's head (at this time we could see the baby's hair!!) so that it wouldn't come out right then. On Carm's next contraction she pushed the baby's head out and then she said "get it out!" to the doc. At 7:07am, little Madison Nicole entered the world crying with a healthy set of lungs. It was soooooo beautiful!! The most beautiful thing I have ever been a part of in my life.
April 23 1999: I got the results from my blood work. All were negative except for my ANA, which came back questionable. 1:40 and below is normal, 1:40 to 1:80 -- low antibodies. My result was 1:40 which could mean nothing. My RE wants me to retest in 2 months. I asked if I was tested for Antiphospholipid Antibodies (APA) and found out that I wasn't. . .I definitely want this tested before the FET. Scott brought home my other sister's kids tonite to spend the nite. As they drove up the driveway, I noticed that our hot water heater went out!!!! Luckily we have a couple of close plumber friends. . ...
April 24 1999: This morning I woke up at 4am with a cramp in my calf. I had to jump out of bed and stand on it to make my toes straighten out again. After that episode, I dreamed that I was holding my newborn baby boy and breastfeeding him for the first time. It was sooooo real, I felt the pain of the first time breast feeding and also the milk being drawn from my breast. What a wild dream. The only other time I have dreamed of babies was when I was actually pregnant after my IVF. I dreamed also about baby boys and those dreams were very real as well. . . . . hmmmmm. Scott's dad and his friend replaced our water heater (tank) today and the water has never been so hot or so purifying (j/k). I was happy to shower again. We brought quiche for Carmella and Keith and visited with them and baby Madison tonite. She is sooooo precious. She was fighting a nap when we saw her. We met my other sister for dinner and to drop the boys off. After dinner I got major heartburn and I the only time I get heartburn is when I am pg. On my old cycle (28 days), I would've gotten AF today. Since the m/c, who knows when AF will show.
April 27 1999: I went up to the hospital today to have some blood drawn for APA test. Still no AF. Been REALLY tired lately and would suspect pregnancy except that I haven't had any breast tenderness. Have had a tiny bit of cramping.
May 5 1999: Got my results for the APA test, it was negative just like the ACA.
May 6 1999: I took a home pregnancy test (hpt) tonite and it was negative. . .. hmmmmm.
May 7 1999: Guess who showed up 2 weeks late. Aunt Flo (AF). It looks like my cycle (2nd one since the miscarriage) is getting closer to normal. I'm happy my blood tests came back negative. I am praying that the FET will be a success and we'll have Y2K test tube twins!!!!
May 21 1999: Slight tinge of pink spotting. Hmm...wonder if I'm ovulating -- can't tell, my reproductive system is so screwy right now!
June 3 1999: Woke up nauseous at 4am.
June 4-6 1999: AF shoulda been here, but no sign. Lots of nausea after dinner. Headaches as well. Feeling quite yucky.
June 11 1999: Repeat ANA test from 2 months ago.
June 14 1999: ANA result exactly as it was 2 months ago, 1:40. Doc says we can proceed -- I'm just waiting on AF.
June 15 1999: Went to OB and had a urine pg test run to see if that's why I'm late. Nope!!
June 24 1999: Seven weeks (3 weeks late now!!!). . . blood pg test to see what's up.
June 25 1999: Negative on the pg test. .. . more Provera!! ;.( Hopefully this will bring on AF so we can proceed!!
July 01 1999: AF arrived!!! We can move forward with scheduling the Frozen Embryo Transfer